The Brat’s Guide to Maddening
by lunarlullaby
Summary: As seen in...WHY ME! My first story! Each chapter is a TMM character and 25 ways to annoy them. Please R&R! I have and open mind so please, feel free to contribute your ideas.
1. Ryou

**The Brat's Guide to Maddening**

**By:** Lunarlullaby13

**Disclaimer: I do not own TMM. And no matter how much I don't want it to be true, I do not own Ryou.**

I give credit to Alice -Unrequited- authoress of 100 Ways to Get Kicked out of Hogwarts, for giving me this idea.

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**Ryou**

1. I will not punch the spit out of Ryou to wake him up.

2. I will not shave him bald and say he needed a new look.

3. I will not sing the song that never ends while following Ryou around all day.

4. I will not create a giant wax model of Ryou, duck tape it to the floor in front of his bedroom doorway, and convince him he's crazy.

5. I will not go to the Police the same time Ryou is and shout out, 'Ryou, why'd you murder the entire West Avenue?!' It's not polite.

6. Guessing Ryou's age is not an appropriate sport.

7. Dying Ryou's hair white and sticking him in a cage with Black Haru from Fruits Basket isn't very bright, nor is it very entertaining when Black Haru grabs a metal chair. It's just a waste of time.

8. Asking Ryou, 'Could you answer a question?' over and over isn't smart as I've found out the hard way.

9. Remodeling Café Mew Mew as an emo paradise isn't the interior decorating that Ryou had in mind.

10. If Ryou smirks at you DO NOT punch him. It goes on, and on, and on…

11. Hiding a tape recorder in Ryou's ceiling that plays the theme song to _A Pup Named Scooby Doo_ on a loop is very amusing, but wrong.

12. Hiding a another tape recorder in Ryou's ceiling that plays the theme to _Barney_ and well as _A Pup Named Scooby Doo_ is hold-your-sides hilarious, but is still very wrong.

13. Placing a stink bomb in Ryou's birthday cake is mean.

14. Hiding small cameras in Ryou's bathroom waiting for him to take a shower is considered stalking.

15. Hiding all of Ryou's pants in the open sign outside of Café Mew Mew kills him.

16. I shouldn't open a larger, better Café Mew Mew across the street offering 100 dollars an hour for Café Mew Mew's employees to work there.

17. Nor, should I rub said café in Ryou's face.

18. When I'm asked to wake up Ryou, I will not karate chop his stomach to do so.

19. I shouldn't bait Ryou to walk in to a room with a giant anvil waiting to fall on his head. He says it causes a migraine.

20. If Ryou needs new employees, I will not call my friends, dress up in multiple costumes, and demand the job…about 28 times in a row.

21. When Ryou is hungry or angry I will not 'sing' a beautiful song to make him better, nor can I kiss him to make it better. It actually hurts him.

22. If Ryou's stash is stolen by the aliens with no hope of ever getting it back, I will not persuade him to watch _It's a Wonderful Life _with me.

23. I will not send Ryou the same chain mail 50 billion times in a row, no matter how much I love to see his exhausted face.

24. If Ryou just watched/read _The Tell-Tale Heart _by Edgar Allen Poe, I will not attempt to pretend to kill him.

25. I will not suddenly play heavy metal when Café Mew Mew is dead bored. Even though, it's too funny! (ahem) B-but it's still very wrong.

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**That first chapter is done! Now, who should be next? R&R!**


	2. Pai

**The Brat's Guide to Maddening**

**By:** Lunarlullaby13

**Disclaimer: I do not own TMM. And no matter how much I don't what it to be true, I do not own my own Pai that I can annoy..**

I give credit to Alice -Unrequited- authoress of 100 Ways to Get Kicked out of Hogwarts, for giving me this idea.

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**Pai**

1) Don't call his fans girly.

2) Don't say purple is a girly color.

3) Don't ask him when he's going to propose to Retasu.

4) Don't call him sardines.

5) Never ever talk about Ryou and Retasu around him.

6) His Computer is not a video game

7) I will not Bounce on a pogo sick in the same room while he is researching

8) I will NOT Ask him his opinion on green Mew Mews.

9)If you want to live, don't ask him when he's getting married to Lettuce. It's none of your business.

10) I will never ask him: 'What 'cha doin'?', every 5 seconds.

11) I will never help him research on human games by poking him over and over.

12) I will not tell him his hair is a girly color.

13) I won't play my music as loud as possible while he's researching.

14) I'll never tell him his weapon is girly.

15) I will never ever peer over his shoulder while he's looking at kissing Instructions.

16) I will never read his secret diary on green mews.

17) I will never burn a picture of Lettuce in front of his face.

18) I will never say to him "If you're never gonna leave the computers side you may as well marry it." He didn't take that too well.

19) If I were to do something nice for Pai, I wouldn't take him wig shopping for his birthday.

20) When measuring him for his blackmailing photo, I will not give a stupid excuse like, 'I need to bake you a cake and the type of cake that people like best must be compatible with their height.'

21) I will not take said blackmailing photo to make Pai let me poke his ears all day.

22) I will not take a giant metal hammer, tie Pai to his couch, and destroy all electronic machines in the ship right in front of his eyes. I swear he's like the Hulk.

23) Hiding a Retasu baby video in the VCR and making Pai watching it is surprisingly easy. Taking pictures of Pai imitating baby Retasu's movements is surprisingly easy, too, but if I do so, I will be very, dearly, mostly sorry.

24) Telling Pai that all liquids, now make you blow up, isn't the best way to spend a month, but it's one of the best ways to laugh!

25) Convincing Pai that the universe is going to be destroyed unless he dresses up in a baby costume and makes baby sounds in Build-A-Bear Workshop, is HI-LAR-I-OUS! But, the sad truth is you have to go to court shortly after.

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**That's the end for this chapter, folks! Keep sending in ideas! The next victim is Masaya!**

Maddening ways that do not belong to this issue of: The Brat's Guide to Maddening:

#1-5 have been subscribed by Amaya or Mew Amaya

#6-9 have been subscribed by MewTangerine

#10-18 have been subscribed by amythist222

**Thank you very much for your ideas. Ideas! Ideas! Ideas! THEY'RE VERY HELPFUL!**


	3. Masaya

**The Brat's Guide to Maddening**

**By:** Lunarlullaby13

**Disclaimer: I do not own TMM. And no matter how much I don't what it to be true, I do not own my own Masaya that I can annoy…**

I give credit to Alice -Unrequited- authoress of 100 Ways to Get Kicked out of Hogwarts, for giving me this idea.

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**Masaya**

Don't tell him you're going to build a shopping mall in the forest.

Don't tell him you torture frogs for a living, then eat them.

Telling him that toilets endanger animals, is a bad idea. I feel sorry for your bushes...

Setting an explosive next to Masaya's bed that has a timer for when he opens his eyes is a bad idea.

Circling him simultaneously and calling him a Justin Timberlake wannabe, is mean.

It makes him mad when you kick him in the shin and call him an idiot.

Don't tell him you use 30 sheets of toilet paper every time you use the bathroom.

Never ever, ever ask when was the last time he tried to destroy Tokyo.

If you want to live longer, don't say, "Ya know? I saw you with that bleach blonde the other day. Is she a really good kisser?" even if you did or did not see him. Especially in front of Ichigo.

Ask him if Deep Blue has any messages for you is probably the last thing you want to do.

"Is it true you want to protect Ichigo so you can kill her yourself?" Is not a good self-preservation technique.

Toilet-papering his house IS amusing, but it upsets him because it is wasteful, so I won't do it.

I will NOT ask him if he was dropped on his head at birth.

Chasing after him, and yelling HIPPIE!! Is rather amusing, but it is rude.

He does not appreciate it if you say to him "Is that supposed to be your... FACE?"

Never ask him if it's normal for him to look so retarded all the time.

I will never decorate his room in frilly pink with revealing posters of girls right before Ichigo walks into it.

Don't chop down a tree in front of him.

You shouldn't tell him to marry a tree.

Making Masaya eat a poison apple is fun! But very bad...

Showing Masaya all the reviews people send saying "I HATE MASAYA!" is not very nice.

I will not show Masaya a picture of Kisshu and Ichigo kissing.

I will not sing, 'The Masaya Hate Song' in front of him.

Don't drag him into a room where Ryou and Ichigo are making out.

Don't hang him upside down from a tree whilst taking a match and setting the tree alight.

In fact, just don't set a tree alight and force him to watch, though seeing him wail like a baby is fun-but wrong.

When he is removing litter from a river, don't throw it back into the river. He will be on for hours!

Don't tell Purin that Masaya kidnapped Tart or there will be consequences. Meaning you will probably pass out from laughter whilst watching him run like a screaming girl from a fire breathing monkey-girl.

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**That's the end of this issue of The Brat's Guide to Maddening! The next victim is Kish! You can find the whole list of victims on my profile. The '?' are a surprise.**

Maddening ways that were submitted to this issue of The Brat's Guide to Maddening:

#1-7 have been subscribed by Kish's Kittie

#8-11 have been subscribed by Sterling Fire Kittie

#12-16 have been subscribed by MewTangerine

#17 has been subscribed by intricate designs

#18-23 have been subscribed by Amaya or Mew Amaya

#24-28 have been subscribed by Kitty Kat K.O.

**Thanks for your ideas, but I wasn't able to write any Maddening ways this chapter. TT Here's a fun fact:**

The title of this fic used to be: Ryou The Brat's Guide to Killing

**I guess you can understand why I changed it.**


	4. Kish

**The Brat's Guide to Maddening**

**By:** Lunarlullaby13

**Disclaimer: I do not own TMM. And no matter how much I don't what it to be true, I do not own my own Kish that I can annoy…**

I give credit to Alice -Unrequited- authoress of 100 Ways to Get Kicked out of Hogwarts, for giving me this idea.

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**Kish**

Don't ask him every five seconds if he has to pee. In Russian.

Telling him he's a girly man isn't a good idea.

Don't tell him his outfit is so last season, because he won't understand you.

Don't give him an exploding snow cone.

Don't tell him Pai is really a girl.

Don't ask him constantly if he has to pee. In German. O.o

Don't tell him Ichigo moved to America with Ryou and Masaya.

Dumping snow cones on his head is amusing, but I wouldn't suggest it...

Don't blast him with a fire extinguisher every time he prepares for battle. He gets mad...

Telling him Ichigo loves him, and then say "April Fools!" is very funny, but mean.

Whatever you do, don't tell him that Deep Blue is in love with Ichigo. Yeah. There's always the chance he'll try to kill you...

If you have any self-preservation instinct, do not tell him that M-16, not Dragon Swords are the rage.

Don't pull on his ears constantly, he gets mad.

Calling him 'Mister Elf' is entertaining, but he gets really ticked after you say it 5 times.

I will not make him angry in anyway at all. I swear that he'll try to murder you.

Never tell him you know a way to make Ichigo love him, because when he finds out you don't, you're dead.

Never set up an Ichigo kissing booth and make him wait there until he realizes she isn't coming, is amusing but let's just say when he finds you it isn't pretty.

Never cut Kisshu's hair while he's sleeping cause when he wakes up he'll be screaming, and I know that as a fact.

Never tell Kisshu that Pai and Ichigo are dating because after trying to kill Pai, you'll have two aliens on your back.

Reading Kisshu's poems about him and Ichigo aloud is amusing but very, very, very dangerous.

Hanging pictures of Minto in Kish's room is ridiculous but when he realizes it was you (which I doubt he ever will) you'll regret it.

Don't say ichigo is married it will be funny when he spazzes out but very wrong.

Don't make fun of his pigtails.

Don't burn his Ichigo pictures very funny but very wrong.

Don't stand on his and start jumping on it screaming ''WAKE UP!!'' at 5:00 am.

Do not claim you're his and Ichigo's daughter Ichigo will hurt you.

Don't paint his walls black and call him emo.

Don't kill Ichigo you will be sorry.

DON'T dye his hair red while he's sleeping and tell him Tart did it. It's bad for Tart.

Never ask him, "Are you wearing a...skirt?"

Unless you want to commit suicide, don't tell him you murdered Ichigo.

Don't say he goes out with Zakuro if you don't want to get killed.

Don't call him in the middle of the night, ask him what he will never say, tape record it, and send it to every one of his fangirls! Results made vary.

Him Ichigo moved away far away, she won't be back for a very long time, if he says 'Yes?' say Ichigo is dead; then run as fast as possible if he find out that you are lying.

Do not put an angry cat, a bear, or a army of cats in his bed and that includes Ichigo, Results could lead to anything horrible and don't blame Pai or Taruto. That won't work.

Don't say he's gay in front of him if you don't want to die early.

Don't pay Taruto in candy to have him say: 'F-c- his mom' in front of him, he will find out and kill you.

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**O.o Whoa…I wasn't able to type up anything for this issue.**

Maddening ways that were submitted to this issue of The Brat's Guide to Maddening:

#1-10 have been subscribed by Kish's Kitte

#11-12 have been subscribed by Sterling Fire Kitty

#13-15 have been subscribed by MewTangerine

#16-21 have been subscribed by Ember Shirogane

#22-28 have been subscribed by kishiscool

#29-31 have been subscribed by MewCuxie12 ;3

#32-37 have been subscribed by Ice The Angel Tiger Mew Mew

**Thank you all for submitting your ideas for this issue of The Brat's Guide to Maddening! The next victim is Tart! Send in your ideas!**


	5. Tart

**The Brat's Guide to Maddening**

**By:** Lunarlullaby13

**Disclaimer: I do not own TMM. And no matter how much I don't what it to be true, I do not own my own Tart that I can annoy…**

I give credit to Alice -Unrequited- authoress of 100 Ways to Get Kicked out of Hogwarts, for giving me this idea.

* * *

**Tart**

1. Never say Purin likes men with bald heads in front of him.

2. Never wake him up at 2:00 a.m. with a recording set at 345 decibels of Ichigo saying, "MIDGET, MIDGET, MIDGET, MIDGET, MIDGET, MIDGET, MIDGET, MIDGET, MIDGET, MIDGET..."

3. Saying that his "clackers" are girly will only result in seeing how ungirly they are.

4. Giving him a smelly pair of mismatching socks for his birthday is funny, but very rude.

5. Locking him in a dark room with Purin while she's hyped on pocky is very detrimental to your physical and emotional health.

6. If you cherish your life, do not under any circumstances call Tart a "girly midget elf who's in love with a squishy, edible liquid."

7. Don't kill pudding.

8. Don't steal his candy.

9. Don't call him midget.

10. Don't cut his pigtails.

11. Don't cut his ribbons.

12. Modeling Tart into Kish is really amusing, but please take his picture before making him look in the mirror.

13. Don't walk up to him and sing, "Tart and Pudding sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G! First comes love, then marriage, and then comes Tart Jr. in a baby carriage!" Especially with Pudding next to him.

14. Shaving Tart's head bald in his sleep is hilarious, but you'll have to go to alien court for 2 days.

15. DO NOT glue Tart's butt to the couch and make him watch _Little People Video Christmas Fun_ (for ages 2-6) Personally, it makes my eyes burn.

16. Don't stick his head in your printer, claiming that you can copy his face.

17. Making a Tart army and sending it into Pudding's house will result in high giggles and many disfigured machine parts running for their mechanical lives.

18. Don't make him stare at the sun too long, saying that it'll improve his eyesight by 20.

19. Don't call him Fart instead of Tart.

20. Telling Tart that Pudding is actually a male will result in many lawsuits and laughing fits.

21. Making Tart wear pink contacts that make him look just like Ichigo and shoving Tart in front of Ichigo will cause a sides-aching uproar.

22. Don't pour chocolate pudding over an apple tart with Tart and Pudding standing next to you and say, "But pudding and tart a made to be with each other!" Café Mew Mew will die with laughter.

23. Don't call Tart a worthless crybaby that has no fashion sense.

24. Don't dress up Tart as a clown and send him to the circus.

25. Don't super-glue him into a doe costume and send him into the forest during hunting season.

**Thank you for submitting your ideas, they really help.**

Maddening ways that were submitted to this issue of The Brat's Guide to Maddening:

#1-5 have been subscribed by Aishiteru Itstudemo

#6 has been subscribed by Boomity

#7-11 have been subscribed by kishiscool

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**All of these Maddening ways can be used to make the character you hate most become mad. #12-25 were thought up by yours truly and her sister: Kish's-Kirby! The next victim is A SURPRISE!**


	6. Deep Blue

**The Brat's Guide to Maddening**

**By:** Lunarlullaby13

**Disclaimer: I do not own TMM. And no matter how much I don't what it to be true, I do not own my own Deep Blue that I can annoy…**

I give credit to Alice -Unrequited- authoress of 100 Ways to Get Kicked out of Hogwarts, for giving me this idea.**  
**

* * *

**Deep Blue**

Don't say he looks like a girl.

Never EVER call him 'Mister Talking Light orb'... You'll get the death sentence FOR SURE.

Don't shave their hair.

Don't claim he's gay.

Don't kill him.

Sending him to a boot camp is funny but will hurt his health.

Warning: bringing up the dark past is not nice.

Telling Deep Blue to get lost isn't the best way to get rid of him.

Replacing all of his clothes with bikini tops, miniskirts, and platform shoes will result in loud screams and destruction of half the Earth…IT'S STILL WORTH IT!

Hiding an invisible boom box in Deep Blue's coat that plays the 'My Little Pony' theme is freaky funny, but it'll all end in the next three seconds…it's a good thing I have nine lives…

DO NOT sing Christmas carols and trick DB into opening a bomb in wrapping paper. You will live to regret it.

Making DB read all of Shakespeare's original texts will cause brain disorder and dysfunction. Oh, yes, when DB gets out of the coma you want to run-and fast.

Don't scream madly, run towards Deep Blue, stick a cross through his heart, and yell, "VICTORY IS MINE!" It's not over yet.

Shoving Deep Blue into a cherry pie, then feathers, then into the closet mall equals a lawsuit and it's not too fun once you get right down to it.

Kissing Deep Blue by surprise is bad. VERY BAD. So don't do it.

Singing 'Row, Row, Row, Your Boat' while beating up DB makes him go insane…and yet, it's in this issue of The Brat's Guide to Maddening.

Don't you dare start a sing along with Pudding AND Tart leading, especially if Deep Blue just happens to be chained to the wall without any way to transport away.

Do not walk up to DB and ask "Do ya wanna know how to keep an idiot busy?" When he nods his head, walk away. He should keep asking you what the answer is. Don't tell him. He'll catch on sooner or later and kill you for calling him an idiot.

**DO NOT **ask Deep Blue "Wha'cha doin'?" every five seconds.

Don't shout "OFF WITH YOUR HEAD!!!!!!!" in Deep Blue's ears while you're wearing your Queen of Hearts costume. Let's just say he takes it like reverse psychology.

Don't put Deep Blue in a round room and command him to sit in the corner.

Leaving DB in a weather controlled room, while you control the weather gets boring and VERY, VERY, VERY dangerous after a while.

The Joker from Batman and Deep Blue really don't mix.

The Riddler from the Batman and Deep Blue aren't entirely compatible.

Deep Blue has no beat so, do not try to beat box DB into a rap song. It really doesn't work.

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**Most of these are mine, but I suspect that most people weren't able to contribute, because of this chapter being a surprise. Ah, well! There's always next issue!**

Maddening ways that were submitted to this issue of The Brat's Guide to Maddening:

#1-2 have been subscribed by MewTangerine

#3-7 have been subscribed by kishiscool

**As you well know, the rest is by me and only a few were my little sis's ideas. The next victim is Keiichiro! Good luck contributing to that. Me? I have tons of ideas! Now, here's a special joke at the end of this issue. I nearly died laughing so hard at this one: **

NO PARENT LEFT BEHIND...THESE ARE REAL NOTES WRITTEN BY PARENTS IN AN ALABAMA SCHOOL DISTRICT. SPELLINGS HAVE BEEN LEFT INTACT.

11. PLEASE EXCUSE LESLI FROM BEING ABSENT YESTERDAY. SHE HAD DIAHRE DYREA DIREATHE THE SHITS.


	7. Keiichiro

**The Brat's Guide to Maddening**

**By:** Lunarlullaby13

**Disclaimer: I do not own TMM. And no matter how much I don't what it to be true, I do not own my own Keiichiro that I can annoy…**

I give credit to Alice -Unrequited- authoress of 100 Ways to Get Kicked out of Hogwarts, for giving me this idea.

(Line)

**Keiichiro**

Never touch his "power cooking utensils".

Don't hide all of his aprons, telling him the only way to get them back is to dance "The Macarena" naked on top of Tokyo Tower. I sware, he'll do it.

3) Asking him if he and Ryou are secret lovers over and over and over and over is HIGHLY INADVISABLE!

4) Telling him that listening to you 'singing' "Little Bunny Foo Foo" is scientifically proven to improve cooking skills will cause severe beatings with a wet towel.

5) Putting an explosive in his freashly baked Cake IS funny, but he'll make YOU clean up.

6) Don't ask him how his date with Ryou went, because He'll get mad, AND you'll have Ryou shouting at you.

7) DON'T TOUCH THE PONY-PONY TAIL! 

8) DON'T PAINT THE PONY-PONY TAIL!

9) Never replace his oven gloves cute little kitty mittens!

10) Don't tell him his cooking sucks. 

11) Don't smash glass in his face. 

12) Jumping through the window is not worth it.

13) Don't ever tell him he's his cooking is suckish unless you want to see his bad side.

14) Asking, "Is having such long hair your way of keeping in touch with your femine side?" is a hot-topic question. But I doubt Keiichiro would like it.

15) Don't tell him he isn't manly enough to cook, because cooking is for girls.

16) Do not put rat poison in his water, he will puke

17) Never beat his best cake yet with a hammer right in front of him, he might cry

18) Keiichiro does not like to be called "Churro"

19) Saying cooking is a women's job is not nice.

20) Telling him you have mew aqua, having him follow you to the kitchen then hitting him in the face with a frying pan is FUNNY but wrong. (tip: once he figures out you DON'T have it, RUN!)

21) Dressing up as a therapist and telling him that being gay is OK usually makes him mad.

22) Pulling his ponytail makes him go insane.

23) DO NOT EVER go in the same car with him and scream every five seconds: "ARE WE THERE YET? ARE WE THERE YET? ARE WE THERE YET?" He usually beats you. (trust me, I've tried.)

24) Making a HUGE announcement to the ENTIRE cafe saying Keiichiro is really a girl is very amusing, b-but not nice.

25) Asking him if he plays Big Bird on Sesame Street is mean. (but it's REALLY funny to see him shout "NO!" every time.

26) Running to the police and saying he tried to murder you is not polite.

**Aw, man! I didn't get to do any! T-T Horrible! Anyway, these are the people that made my job easier. **

Maddening ways that were submitted to this issue of The Brat's Guide to Maddening:

#1-4 have been subscribed by Aishiteru Itstudemo

#5-6 have been subscribed by MewTangerine

#7-9 have been subscribed by XFallenHoshiX

#10-12 have been subscribed by nextgerationofchaos

#13-14 have been subscribed by MewCuxie12

#15 has been subscribed by pikachu15eevee

#16-26 have been subscribed by Old-Fashioned Girl22

**The next victim is…dun dun DUN! ICHIGO! We're all looking forward to that! XD Oh, and another joke:**

THESE ARE REAL NOTES WRITTEN BY PARENTS IN AN ALABAMA SCHOOL DISTRICT. SPELLINGS HAVE BEEN LEFT INTACT.

1. MY SON IS UNDER A DOCTOR'S CARE AND SHOULD NOT TAKE PE TODAY. PLEASE EXECUTE HIM.


	8. Ichigo

**The Brat's Guide to Maddening**

**By:** Lunarlullaby13

**Disclaimer: I do not own TMM. And no matter how much I don't what it to be true, I do not own my own Ichigo that I can annoy…**

I give credit to Alice -Unrequited- authoress of 100 Ways to Get Kicked out of Hogwarts, for giving me this idea.

(Line)

**Ichigo**

Even if it pleases fans, never tie her to a bed and let Kish in the room, its just naughty.

Don't call her an old hag every 5 seconds.

Never tell her the truth about Aoyama being a total boring , if you do you will never see another day.

when she's working at the café, you should not ask for cake and when she brings it to you drop it on the floor and say 'I don't like that one' and make her go get more.

Never teach Pudding the song that never ends, that will make Ichigo VERY angry after the 150 times Pudding sings said song to her.

Even if it's funny never lead the whole cafe in singing the song that never ends, with Pudding as the main singer.

If you want to be alive tomorrow, you should never handcuff her to Kish. Never tell her that Ryou has just decided to make her pay 3 gumdrops an hour. That is bad for Ryou.

Drawing mustaches, black teeth, and glasses on all of her pictures of Masaya will result in you waking up in a starch white room, alone (except for a rubber ducky or two) and confused.

Hanging fish all over her room is a not-very-nice thing to do.

Taking her bell away from her and making her say, "Ryou is a giant wad of hotness." 627 times to get it back will make Kish, Ichigo, Ryou, and Masaya angry.

Never lock her in a room as a neko with Francis the Fat Cat.

Constantly saying to her "You should date Kish... He's better then Masaya!" is funny, but she'll get annoyed eventually.

Forcing her to kiss Kish DOES please fans, but it's mean (To Ichigo). Don't lock her in a room with both Ryou and Kish.

Don't follow her around repeating "Baka Strawberry!". And when she asks you why you are calling her that DO NOT blame it on Ryou because you'll be in for it when they find out it was you.

Torturing Masaya is VERY funny-especially if she is watching! But wrong. And painful when she demands you release her boyfriend.

Tell Kish she asked him to blow up Masaya. Then, when he does and she finds out - run! Though Kish may just help you get away.

Do not record Ryou's voice insulting her and tape it to her back so that wherever she goes she here's his insults.

Do not record Kish singing in the shower and then make her listen to it eight hours straight-it's amazing how quickly she will go insane!

Don't tell her Masaya likes girls who eat sushi from the dirty kitchen floor, she'll take you seriously...

I wouldn't advise jumping on her back and grabbing her ponytails yelling "Giddyup horsey!"

She doesn't like it when you replace her crush nuts with cat nip...

Don't tell her Kish pinned Masaya the big oak tree in InuYasha and he's growing dog ears...

Excite her and turn her into a cat numerous times for the express purpose of doing it.

Give everyone the day off at the cafe-except her.

Expel her or Masaya from school.

Dying her hair blue and putting it in buns while she sleeps is mean and offensive to Mint.

Asking her "So is Kish or Ryou the father?" may result in several shrieks and hits.

Asking her if Masaya was gay before or after they started dating is cruel...but funny.

Sending a love letter to Kish and signing it with Ichigo's name troubles her and may hurt Kish's feelings.

Telling her that Ryou is docking her pay down to less than half her current salary is guaranteed to drive her nuts and get Ryou killed.

Telling her Masaya is cheating on her with an apple tree might hurt her feelings(even if it's true).

Putting 50 candles on her birthday cake may amuse both you and Tart, but it is insulting to Ichigo.

Telling all the boys she knows that she is really in her 40s and weighs over 200 pounds is cruel and might jeopardize her reputation.

Killing Masaya may get you killed.

Telling her strawberries are stupid disgusting fruits will send you both into a long argument.

Asking, "So what kind of dye do you use in your hair? Or is it a wig?" is definitely a bad idea. But I will tell you there's no way that's her natural color.

Hiding lizards in random places in her room is very, very mean. Especially if they're poisonous.

Tricking her into calling 1-800-GET-HELP (which is a real number)waste her time and someone else's.

Turning her bedroom into a padded cell will make her scream and worry her parents.

Don't tell her that her parents arranged for her to get married to Kish. It's mean.

Telling her she should dump Masaya and date Kish, because Kish is better then Masaya isn't good. You'll have her ranting about Masaya for HOURS (Which will cause severe barfing)

Never Tell Kish that Ichigo actually does like him. You'll have BOTH of them after you, and Kish WILL kill you.

Hiding all her clothes except the Pajamas she wore (in manga volume 2) and letting Kish in the room, and locking them in DOES please fans (and gets Kish off your case if you tried the previous) but it's very naughty.

Calling Masaya a gay tree hugger gets her acting like a fangirl.

Locking her in a closet with Kish is also mean (well, to Ichigo, at least)

I will not pretend to be a fortune teller, and tell her to dump Masaya and date Kish because it's really bad, but only if she finds out you're making it up.

She does NOT like to be greeted by saying "What's new, Pussycat?

I will also not tell Kish to greet her with 'What's new, Pussycat?

Asking Ichigo if she's high on crack isn't the best way to begin a conversation.

Whenever her tail pops out, don't tug on it, convincing Pudding to have a Tug-a-War.

**OoO Wow…you people find lots of pleasure in annoying the main character! The only ones that I did were #49 and #50. -;**

Maddening ways that were submitted to this issue of The Brat's Guide to Maddening:

#1-7 have been subscribed by Cybil Kitty

#8-11 have been subscribed by Aishiteru Itstudemo

#12-13 have been subscribed by MewTangerine

#14-18 have been subscribed by Kitty Kat K.O.

#19-22 have been subscribed by Kish's Kitte

#23-25 have been subscribed by Ami Meitsu

#26-39 have been subscribed by MewCuxie12

#40 has been subscribed by pikachu15eevee

#41-48 have been subscribed by MewTangerine

**The victim is…MINT! And as always, I have a little joke at the end of a chapter:**

THESE ARE REAL NOTES WRITTEN BY PARENTS IN AN ALABAMA SCHOOL DISTRICT. SPELLINGS HAVE BEEN LEFT INTACT.

2. PLEASE EXKUCE LISA FOR BEING ABSENT SHE WAS SICK AND I HAD HER SHOT.


	9. Mint

**The Brat's Guide to Maddening**

**By:** Lunarlullaby13

**Disclaimer: I do not own TMM. And no matter how much I don't what it to be true, I do not own my own Ichigo that I can annoy…**

I give credit to Alice -Unrequited- authoress of 100 Ways to Get Kicked out of Hogwarts, for giving me this idea.**  
**

* * *

**Mint**

Dye her hair blonde, put it in odangos and tell her she looks likes Sailor Moon (Since they both have odangos).

Make her stop drinking tea by spicing it.

Tell her she's a lazy bum (Hey it's lame but it might work I mean she does no work and gets mad when people make her work so...)

Dance around her like Pudding would singing Na No Da!

Tell her Zakuro is the worst idol ever.

Turn on the TV and make her watch Scottish dancing.

Hiding her tea is just mean.

She doesn't like it when you pull the chair out from under her right before she sits down.

Take a bunch of Zakuro pictures and shred them right in front of her.

Take her to a thrift store and make her buy stuff.

Getting a therapist to say "It's okay to be lesbian!" every five seconds is funny, but cruel to Mint.

Finding Mint's fangirl book with pictures of Zakuro, then blackmailing her with it is not very nice.

If you didn't listen and did the above, forcing her to tell Tart that she loves him is bound to get you killed.

Blaming her for the bird poo on your car will cause her to explode.

Do NOT make her work. Mint plus Work equals (shudders)Y-you don't wanna know.

Telling her Zakuro died and it's all her fault WILL drive her insane.

Dumping ice water on Zakuro's head and blaming it on Mint will make them both very angry.

Filling her ballet slippers with banana pudding and blaming it on Pudding will make Mint mad and make Pudding cry.

If you want to steer clear of her, don't tell her it's because you think laziness may be contagious.

I won't hide all her tea. She doesn't like it.

I will not hold her dog for ransom.

I will not hold her poster of Zakuro for ransom.

I will not pretend to hold her brother for ransom, especially when He's actually studying out somewhere.

Never replace her tea with Dr. Pepper when she's not looking. This WILL result in throwing forks and knives at your head when she finds out it was you.

NEVER ask Mint if she's lesbian with Zakuro. They'll BOTH kill you.

Dying Mint's hair green in her sleep is very amusing, until she finds out it was you.

If you replace her tea with poison is just wrong. She'll haunt you forever.

NEVER EVER tape a sign on her back saying, "I'm lesbian." I swear she'll kill you.

Putting up nude pictures of Pai in her room is like committing suicide.

Taking her tea away from her for a month will result in your funeral(which she will not pay for).

Do not sing/scream "A Chinchilla Spied a Churro" in Mint's ear unless you want her to send her dog after you.

Do not replace Mint's dog with a cobra. She will send SWAT after you.

Telling Mint that her money is counterfeit and watching her cry is not funny.

* * *

**OoO Wow…you people love annoying Mint! I didn't do any…TT-TT**

Maddening ways that were submitted to this issue of The Brat's Guide to Maddening:

#1-6 have been subscribed by Ami Meitsu

#7-8 have been subscribed by MewTangerine

#9-10 have been subscribed by Ami Meitsu

#11-13 have been subscribed by intricate designs

#14-19 have been subscribed by MewCuxie12

#20-23 have been subscribed by MewTangerine

#24-28 have been subscribed by Kurisuten Ichikish

#29-33 has been subscribed by MissYoui

**The victim is…LETTUCE! Again, I have a little joke at the end of a chapter:**

NO PARENT LEFT BEHIND...THESE ARE REAL NOTES WRITTEN BY PARENTS IN AN ALABAMA SCHOOL DISTRICT

14. PLEASE EXCUSE JIMMY FOR BEING. IT WAS HIS FATHER'S FAULT.


	10. Lettuce

**The Brat's Guide to Maddening**

**By:** Lunarlullaby13

**Disclaimer: I do not own TMM. And no matter how much I don't what it to be true, I do not own Lettuce that I can annoy…**

I give credit to Alice -Unrequited- authoress of 100 Ways to Get Kicked out of Hogwarts, for giving me this idea.

* * *

**Lettuce**

1. Giving her a picture of Pai shirtless is funny, but mean.

2. Breaking her glasses and watching her fumble around blindly is hilarious! HA! HA! HA! (a-ahem!) ...b-but mean.

3. Slamming her into Pai so they kiss is also funny, but wrong.

4. Never hot glue posters of Ryou/Pai making out. You WILL hear her scream from your house.

5. Don't tell her she's a nerd, dork, or ugly duckling over and over and over again. Who knows what will happen!

6. Don't tell Lettuce Pai is already going out with Ryou. It will result in major gunshot wounds to your head.

7. Telling Lettuce porpoises are stupid animals is very fun, but wrong.

8. DO NOT PUT A PICTURE OF PAI OR RYOU NUDE IN THE BOOK SHE'S READING! I swear, she'll either faint, go into a coma, or find a way to see who it was and hunt you down and kill you.

9. Telling her she's a worthless piece of crap who can't do anything right may be true, but it's not nice (but I'd do it anyway).

10. Chopping off all her hair and selling it on eBay will cause her to go into hiding for months (not that that's a bad thing).

11. Making her carry a 10 ton pot of boiling water will cause her (and whoever she spills it on) pain.

12. Pushing her off a cliff is fun to do! Give it a try.

13. Having someone else push her off a cliff,(like Bob), is fun to watch. Give this a try too.

14. Throwing tomatoes at her face while she's trying to fill an order is mean (but fun!).

15. Stealing her glasses so she won't be able to see and she'll fall down the stairs might be illegal.

16. Letting Pai rape her is bad for her morale.

17. Starting a rumor that she is secretly in love with her math teacher is just plain mean (but who knows. it might be true).

18. Asking her to give a public speech to all of Tokyo will destroy what little confidence she has (and that's assuming she has any to start with).

19. Making Ryou fire her may be the best damn decision he can ever make, but it may also cause Lettuce to commit suicide.

20. Hiding an alarm in her room while she sleeps and making it go off every 5 minutes will make her even uglier in the morning (if that's possible).

21. Making her eat nothing but fish for a month will turn her into a cannibal.

22. Dragging her may her braids for 10 miles will cause her extreme pain.

23. Making her confess her love to Ryou (only to have her heart broken) will hurt her feelings (but no one really cares).

24. Saying, "I'm sorry...who are you again?" every time she tries to talk to you will also hurt her feelings (but still, who cares?).

25. Having a party and inviting everyone in Tokyo except her will make her feel like Cinderella with no prince (HA! LOSER!).

26. Swinging her around in circles by her hair will land her in the hospital (which isn't a bad thing by the way).

27. Telling her she dresses like your grandma is insulting to your grandma.

28. Locking her in a cage with Pudding and her monkeys will make Lettuce go insane.

29. Saying, "WHAT THE HELL KIND OF STUPID NAME IS LETTUCE!! THAT'S JUST DUMB!! I'D FEEL SORRY FOR YOU IF YOU WEREN'T SUCH A USELESS KLUTZ!! WHY CAN'T YOU DO ANYTHING RIGHT?! I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU EVEN BOTHER WORKING HERE!! ALL YOU DO IS CAUSE TROUBLE!! GET LOST!! GET A LIFE!! AND WHILE YOU'RE AT IT, GET SOME CONTACTS 'CAUSE THE GLASSES ARE SO FRICKIN UGLY!! YOU DISGUST ME!! GET OUT OF MY SIGHT NOW AND DON'T EVER BRING YOU SORRY, NO-GOOD, WORTHLESS BACK HERE EVER!" will make her cry.

30. Drawing on her face in permanent marker will she sleeps isn't very nice (but it is very funny).

31. Getting a fortune teller to tell her she will grow old and die alone is funny 'cause it makes her cry!

32. Hitting her in the head with a bat (and knocking her out), tying her to the back of a truck, and driving it 120mph down I-95 is definitely illegal. But it is so worth going to jail!

33. Doing all of the above in one swift motion may be the most brilliant form of torture ever thought up. Do it. I'm serious.

34. I will not shred all of her books. It's funny but makes her cry.

35. I will not set her up on a blind date with Pai. She will faint.

36. I will not convince Pudding to ask Ryou (very loudly) if he loves Lettuce as much as she loves him. It will result in glaring, crying, and more fainting.

37. When Lettuce is taking a shower, don not convince Pai to enter the bathroom, but if you do, run away as fast as you can.

38. Getting Lettuce to see Ichigo and Ryou making out will hurt her.

39. Never convince her to wear roller skates at work, she could end in the hospital. **(1)**

40. Don't tell her that all the books in the world have been burned. This could result in her going temporarily insane.

41. Never ever tell her that ichigo and ryou are running away together.

42. Never walk up to her and saw ryou is gay and mint likes her so she should be a lezbo

43. Never ever give her a fake love note from tart. Tart will be angry and pudding heartbroken.

44. Don't ever tell her that her butt sticks out from her costume.

45. Don't lock her in a haunted castle at the carnival: You'll have to pay for her funeral.

* * *

**(1) Along with everyone else. XD**

**That's the end for this chapter, folks! The next victim is PUDDING!! Oh, dear… I love Pudding, she's my fun, non-existent little sis in disguise… I'm going to have to sit out on this next issue, so SEND IN YOUR IDEAS!!**

Maddening ways that do not belong to this issue of: The Brat's Guide to Maddening:

#1-3 have been subscribed by Amaya or Mew Amaya

#4-8 have been subscribed by Kurisuten Ichikish

#9-33 have been subscribed by... (GULP) that totally fits…MewCuxie12 (reads them) GOOD GOD, GIRL! Damn, you really HATE Lettuce. Poor girl, it's such a shame that I can relate to her. I wear glasses that look a little weird AND I'm shy at school. XD OoO P-please don't hate me, Cuxie!!

#34-36 have been subscribed by Shanequa

#37-39 have been subscribed by My Dreams are My Wings

#40 has been subscribed by pichachu15evee

#41-43 have been subscribed by KP-loves-the-RRB

#44 has been subscribed by MissYoui, but created by her friend

#45 has been subscribed by MissYoui

NO PARENT LEFT BEHIND...

THESE ARE REAL NOTES WRITTEN BY PARENTS IN AN ALABAMA SCHOOL DISTRICT . SPELLINGS HAVE BEEN LEFT INTACT.

20. PLEASE EXCUSE MARY FOR BEING ABSENT YESTERDAY. SHE WAS IN BED WITH GRAMPS.

**In your review pick a number between 3-23. It can't be numbers 14 or 11.**


	11. Pudding

The Brat's Guide to Maddening

**The Brat's Guide to Maddening**

**By:** lunarlullaby

**Disclaimer: I do not own TMM. And no matter how much I don't what it to be true, I do not own Pudding that I can annoy…**

I give credit to Alice -Unrequited- authoress of 100 Ways to Get Kicked out of Hogwarts, for giving me this idea.

(Line)

**Lettuce**

1. Do NOT tell her monkeys are on the brink of extinction. She'll ask you for at LEAST 500 dollars to raise funds.

2. Making her watch educational TV for 8 hours straight will unravel the very fabric of the universe. Seriously. Think about it.

3. Popping her big ball while she's performing on it is dangerous.

4. Making Pai kiss Lettuce in front of her will torture both Pudding and Tart.

5. Under NO circumstances should you tell her all the sugar in the world is gone. Obvious results.

6. Don't tell her Taruto is in love with Ichigo will get you killed by Pudding, Ichigo, and Taruto.

7. Telling her she is immature is mean.

8. I promise never to tell Pudding that Taruto hates her and wants her dead. That is just too evil.

9. Letting her play matchmaker with anyone can destroy said person's love life (probably Lettuce's or Ichigo's).

10. Never give her sugar and lock her in a closet with Tart, things could get out of hand. Never tell her that she and Tart are going to get married, Tart will probably hunt you.

11. Do NOT get Pudding to do a cartwheel off a steep cliff. If she survives, she will kill you.

12. DON'T) Make Taruto kiss Ichigo. Pudding WILL kill you and Taruto.

13. DO NOT PUNCH PUDDING. SHE WILL PUNCH BACK. HARD.

14. I will not bribe Taruto into writing a suicide note to Pudding, and not really kill himself. (If you do this anyway, RUN!)

15. On the above, DO NOT tell him to write that he married Ichi.

16. Whatever you do, DO NOT forge a love note to Pai under Pudding's name. She, Pai, and Taruto will murder you.

17. Do not challenge Pudding to a Graceful Dancing contest and give her hot sauce before the contest. She will shoot you in the head.

18. Don't tell her that Tart and Mint are eloping, that will cause Purin to cry and Mint & Tart to kill you.

19. Never Tell Pudding that you just killed Tart this will result in lots of running.

20. When Tart comes to see Pudding never slap him and say, "You're seeing another woman! How could you!?" Then walk away neither Pudding nor Tart will be too happy.

21. Never Tell Purin/Pudding that Taruto is in love with Pai, this will cause Pudding to cry and Tart AND Pai to come after you.

22. Never tell Pudding that Taruto hates her because Pudding will cry and probably commit suicide.

23. If you want to have some crude fun, sit at a table in Café Mew Mew. Make sure you're eating with Pudding and Tart. Order both pudding and a tart and then eat them together. When they stare blankly at you, say (with your mouth full), "But…they go so well together…" Then you take pictures of their blushing faces and sell them world-wide. This may result in horrid head pains, no legs, and no hands; I say it's worth it! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

24. Set a cake down on the floor of Café Mew Mew wherever Pudding stands. Repeat this over, and over, and over, and over, and over, until Pudding blows up from anger.

25. Lastly, it would be rude to prank call Café Mew Mew, only when Pudding is picking up the phone. About 10 calls per hour would do.

**I'm done with this chapter of Maddening ways! I've finally been able to submit some ideas of my own! They be: 23, 24, and 25. - The next victim is… ZAKURO!! Send in your ideas! But make sure I get to put some in!! ….please?**

Maddening ways that do not belong to this issue of: The Brat's Guide to Maddening:

#1-4 have been subscribed by MewCuxie12

#5 has been subscribed by pikachu15eevee

#6-8 have been subscribed by MikaTheCatHanyou

#9-10 have been subscribed by My Dreams are My Wings

#11-17 have been subscribed by Michaiah

#18 has been subscribed by Angel Ichigo Melody

#19-20 have been subscribed by kpizkool

#21-22 have been subscribed by Kyohaku Uchiha

**I bet you're wondering why I asked you all to pick a number, ne? I wanted you people to pick something funny at random! Here's the winner:**

NO PARENT LEFT BEHIND...

THESE ARE REAL NOTES WRITTEN BY PARENTS IN AN ALABAMA SCHOOL DISTRICT. SPELLINGS HAVE BEEN LEFT INTACT.

6. JOHN HAS BEEN ABSENT BECAUSE HE HAD TWO TEETH TAKEN OUT OF HIS FACE.


	12. Zakuro

**The Brat's Guide to Maddening**

**By:** lunarlullaby

**Disclaimer: I do not own TMM. And no matter how much I don't what it to be true, I do not own Pudding that I can annoy…**

I give credit to Alice -Unrequited- authoress of 100 Ways to Get Kicked out of Hogwarts, for giving me this idea.

* * *

**Zakuro**

1. Don't tell Zakuro that all of her fans are lesbian old ladies. Death results shortly after. Meep. O.O

2. Whatever you do, absolutely don't rig Zakuro's shower to have neon pink and green hair dye come out of the shower head. She'll hunt you down and kill you.

3. Never tell her everyone hates her latest album. It will make her cry.

4. Don't sell pictures of her crying on Ebay. She will hunt you down and the outcome won't be pretty.

5. Never die her hair green and call her Kish. She will kill you.

6. Do not dress her up as Ichigo and put her in a room with Kisshu, it will cause great pain for Kisshu when he learns she is not Ichigo and also when Zakuro beats him up.

7. Do not tell Zakuro her modeling job is over and she has been fired because she is too ugly, you will end up in intensive care.

8. Never tell her she's fat.

9. Never tell her that Ichigo is her soul mate. She doesn't swing that way, and she'll make it perfectly clear.

10. I will not break into her house and draw all over each and every piece of clothing she owns. First of all, it takes too much time, and she'll make you buy her a new wardrobe.

11. Never scream, "DAMMIT, ZAKURO! YOU CLOGGED THE TOILET AGAIN!" during business hours. Actually, never scream in general.

12. Pulling her tail while she's in Mew form is rude.

13. Making her model for Annoyingly Cute Fluffy Bunnies Paradise Magazine may cause her brain damage.

14. Dyeing her wardrobe pink is cruel and will make Ichigo look bad.

15. Playing the Barney theme song while she sleeps will drive her to the brink of insanity.

16. Booking her as a guest star on Barney is even worse.

17. Jumping into all of her photo shoots and making funny faces will make her and her manager furious.

18. Making her... (gulp) SMILE for the customers is just plain wrong. It freaks the customers out and chances are they won't come back.

19. Do not throw popcorn at her while she is having her fashion show. She will hunt you down and kill you in your sleep. Even though that isn't the kind of thing she does.

20. Never mention when Ichigo and Lettuce are around the possibility that Zakuro is dating both Ryou AND Pai, unless you want to die by the hand of 5 different people.

21. Never mention that Zakuro sucks as a celebrity, Minto and Zakuro will make you run and hide for days.

22. If you care about your sanity and health, never turn Zakuro into hyper-active mode, right before an interview. You'll have hundreds of fans and a menacing Zakuro on your back.

23. When being called to entertain at Café Mew Mew, I will not pull Zakuro into my Saw-A-Person-In-Half Act, especially when you do not know how to _execute _it.

24. I will not wear wolf ears and a wolf tail along with a purple bikini and a whip and shout out, "I AM THE TALL ONE'S OFFSPRING!" in Café Mew Mew. (there are more crowded places to do it. ;D)

25. I am not permitted to follow around Zakuro everywhere she goes, smile ear to ear as if I have a secret and whisper "I'm wearing new socks." And point down to my feet.

**I acted out number 25. XD Shows how much of a loser I am. PROUD OF IT! :D NEway, I got to submit a few maddening ways this time!! :D numbers 23-25 were submitted by yours truly. Maddening ways that were not created by this issue:**

**#1-2 were submitted by Kurisuten Ichikish**

**#3-5 were submitted by MikaTheCatHanyou**

**#6 was submitted by X-GlitterEyes-X**

**#7-11 were submitted by xXKuroTenshiXx**

**#12-17 were submitted by MewCuxie12**

**#18 was submitted by pikachu15eevee**

**#19-22 were submitted by My Dreams are My Wings**

**Lastly, I did numbers 23 through 25 that is if you didn't read the above. Next chapter is promised to be surprising.**

Luna: Wait… Didn't you do all of the mews already? Who could be next?

**Just guess. ;)**

**ADIEU, MY FELLOW FANFICTIONITES!**


	13. Berry

**The Brat's Guide to Maddening**

**By:** lunarlullaby

**Disclaimer: I do not own TMM. And no matter how much I don't what it to be true, I do not own Berry that I can annoy…and I do not own Elmer Fudd.**

I give credit to Alice -Unrequited- authoress of 100 Ways to Get Kicked out of Hogwarts, for giving me this idea.

* * *

**Berry**

I am not to shred and tear her new "adorable" school uniform.

I am not to "coach" Berry so that she won't pass the entrance exams into the school with said "cute" uniforms.

I am not to glue Berry and Tasuku together one morning and say that they can only way to get free is to passionately make out.

I am not to tell Tasuku that asking Berry's hand in marriage every ten seconds will save her life... He was stupid to believe me anyway...

I am not to get everyone in Japan to talk about Berry at the same time. It's sure to blow up Berry's nose. She hates it when that happens. **(1)**

I am not to get every girl in Berry's school to praise Tasuku only when Berry walks by.

I am not to keep her being a mew secret from her even if it's fun to confuse her.

I am not to lock Mew Berry in a cage with giant kiremia anima.

I am not to place bets on who will live for the fight above.

I am not to steal Mew Berry's wand and bash her over the head with it incessantly. (Even if I stop when Berry turns black and blue.)

I am not to tie the Mew Berry's bunny ears and cat tail together.

I am not to force Tasuku to frown at Berry every time she's in his presence.

I am not to chuck a berry at Berry every time her name is called.

I am not to force feed Berry fish, claiming that fish makes her smarter.

I am not to point out that how Berry only chose her school for the uniform…every two minutes and thirty-seven seconds.

I am not to throw a gallon of water on Berry every time she blushes…pushing her into a pond is much faster.

I am not to dye Berry's natural, blonde hair to black; there are much worse colors like pink, blue, green, and purple…oh wait…

I am not to eat a carrot very, very…very…VERY slowly while staring at Berry with bugged out eyes. She says it makes her feel uncomfortable. I can't imagine why, though.

I am not to walk up to Berry and say, "You're just asking for it," then walk away. If she follows and keeps asking, "What am I asking for," I am not to stare at her until she gets it.

I am not to do all of the above one day and smile sweetly at Berry the entire next day.

I am not to gather both Ichigo and Berry in the same room, scrutinize them both, tackle Berry, and scream at the top of my lungs, "IMPOSTER!!!!!!!!!"

I am not to superglue Ucha **(2) **to Berry's eyelid, run around Café Mew Mew while yanking her bunny ears, and screaming, "MEDIC! MEDIC! MEDIC!!!" **(3)**

I am not to shove a berry in to Berry's mouth every time she opens it.

I am not to whisper very loudly behind Berry's back, "HER REAL NAME IS MARY SUE."

I am not to walk up to Berry, dressed as Elmer Fudd, and say, "It's wabbit season."

* * *

**LL: Moshi, moshi! Gomen nasai! I didn't mean to not update in FOREVER. This is the last chapter for the Brat's Guide to Maddening. Every maddening way was created by me. Please join me for the next guide: Kid's Killing Methods. The victims for Kid's Killing Methods are going to be....... FRUIT'S BASKET! Please vote for who will be the victims for Adolescent's Annoyance ABCs in my profile! X3  
**

**Key:**

**(1): There's a legend that if you sneeze it means that someone is talking about you. XD**

**(2): Ucha is basically Berry's Masha/R2000.**

**(3): It's an inside joke that BuKitten, Kish's Kirby, and I know about. BK's brother plays a LOT of games and can beat newly bought games soon enough to return them and get his money back. Anyway, her brother was yelling, "MEDIC," while he was playing his game. It just became an on-going game. XD**

**And as a special treat for those who waited for me to return... **

NO PARENT LEFT BEHIND....

THESE ARE REAL NOTES WRITTEN BY PARENTS IN AN ALABAMA SCHOOL DISTRICT .

SPELLINGS HAVE BEEN LEFT INTACT.

19. PLEASE EXCUSE JASON FOR BEING ABSENT YESTERDAY. HE HAD A COLD AND COULD NOT BREED WELL. 


End file.
